Category

Personal Development

Talent

By | Coaching and Mentoring, Leadership Toolbox, Personal Development

TALENT

Let’s think about ‘Talent’.  Just what is talent?  It is a widely used word, but in sport coaching we are careful how we apply it and this got me thinking…

We might say that someone has a talent for sport or a talent for leading people or a creative talent.  Current thinking is that it is about the hours that we put in to make things work.  It is about the effort and commitment that we make which leads to successful outcomes. Do I hear you say ‘no, I could never do this/that/the other, of course there is such a thing as talent’?

One of the things that I love about my work as a coach is the transferability of coaching principles.

Let’s think about that.  If we start with sport, it helps to illustrate the point. Consider a Ladies netball team. Do they have physical attributes in common? How about great bowlers – do our best cricketers have anything in common? How about Gymnasts? Sport climbers who almost run up impossible-looking rock faces? Rowers?  Ask yourself, are they tall? Short? Well-built? Wiry?  Can you see a rugby prop doing gymnastics? For sure, we can all make a difference to our body shapes, but only to a degree.  We wouldn’t expect the best sport climbers to be powerful rowers. We wouldn’t expect our netball players to be gymnasts or ballerinas.  There is no judgement in this, it’s just the way we are.  We build on our physical attributes and learn the motor skills for our sport.  We develop patterns and neural pathways which mean we don’t have to think everything through from scratch.  

Although there may not be a direct comparison, it isn’t a huge leap to accept that we are born with a certain nature and then, as life goes on, we build on early interactions to develop ourselves into who we are today.  It means we are all different, we all have strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes.  We may have great ‘emotional intelligence’, we might have excellent practical skills, we might be very creative, we might love a challenge.  This is the fascination with people: we are not the same. And this is where the challenge comes in when we have to work with those different people….

I think that talent is maybe something rather more subtle than we first thought.  It is the intrinsic ‘wiring’ of our brain, or the shape of our body plus commitment and practice in what we want to do.  

It is all a question of degree, of our expectations.  Somehow we need to identify realistic expectations.  If we’re not built to be jockeys, then we must look to what we can do: if not flat race, then maybe a steeplechase jockey who can be taller.  If we are too broad to be a sport climber, then maybe a mountaineer.  For World Class athletes or for leaders of the World’s biggest companies, then we are likely to need a very specific body type or set of brain functions, but if we want to do well at a different level, then maybe there is nothing stopping us.  Just because we can’t run a country, we shouldn’t give up on helping at a community level.  Just because we aren’t brilliant with numbers, it doesn’t mean we can’t run a business.  If we are great with people, then perhaps we should look at jobs that need those skills, if we are practical and logical and risk averse, perhaps we should look at jobs that need that.  If we love numbers, then there are jobs that need those skills. We don’t all have to climb the same career tree, there are people in diverse roles who can all reach the top.  We can compete at a high level in sport or sports – there is no shortage of people succeeding in second sports because, given the right build, a huge part of success is mental.  It is the determination and single-mindedness to focus on a vey specific goal – at the highest level this is usually to the exclusion of just about everything else.  We need to pick our level, decide on the balance we want and then be sure that our expectations are realistic for the person that we are. 

Finally, then, next time you wonder what’s stopping you from reaching the top of your tree, perhaps the first question is, ‘Am I climbing the right tree?”

SPACE – Definitely not the final frontier for learning

By | Coaching and Mentoring, Education, Leadership Toolbox, Personal Development

Space – (Definitely NOT the final frontier for learning!)

 

Yesterday I attended an interesting conference on Critical Leadership.  In just a short space of time we touched on many topics which challenge us as leaders.  One of the themes centred on how we keep formal learning going in our day-to-day jobs once we return from the buzz of workshops.  This is a topic very close to my heart.

Four points stick in my mind as crucial for continued learning:

–        We need to open spaces for conversation

–        We need to listen and empower

–        We need to foster constant curiosity

–        We need to enable conversations

If I could have created a word cloud from the speakers yesterday morning, I think that SPACE would have featured in the centre in huge letters.  It’s something that we just don’t really have in our busy lives, busy jobs and busy careers.  Yet how can we see what is happening if we don’t make a space to understand what is around us?  How can we start to get these four points into action if we don’t have ‘space’?

Another phrase which would have being pretty obvious in the word cloud would have been CRITICAL FRIEND. (And underneath that I would have posted ‘constructive challenge).

This is all great metaphorical chat, but what do I mean in practical terms?  OK, please stay with me on this…..

Creating a SPACE, means we can give valuable time to reflection.

Reflection is an increasingly well accepted and understood ‘tool’ for deep learning. Taking the time to really think about our experiences means that we can gain new and useful perspectives.  When we reflect, we can create some structure for our thought processes, use positive questioning to get deeper understanding and see the small but powerful changes that accumulate to lead to our success.

How often do you get to the end of a working day and feel that you have achieved nothing?  I think most of us have been there at some time, but even on those days, if you took just ten minutes out (sitting in the car before you drive home, walking the dog, cleaning the goldfish bowl – whatever…..) and identified the smallest thing, the tiniest positive achievement for the day, I am sure there would be something.  It might not be something that you would see as directly relevant to your role, but think again.  When you showed someone a quick move on the computer (that you do without even thinking about it) – that could have a lasting benefit.  When you made that difficult call, but still didn’t reach the right person – at least you have started climbing that fearsome rockface.  When you answered the door for someone, even if they should have done it, it gave you a moment to let the blood back into your legs after sitting for hours at the computer.  If you set up the template for a new spreadsheet, but didn’t enter any data – well, it’s one thing less for tomorrow.  In those mundane examples we’ve covered well-being, support and encouragement shared learning, and action just for a start!  Don’t dismiss the small stuff, it just might be valuable.

So, when I sit down with you as your coach (for want of a better label!), we create SPACE.

First we set some ground rules.  One of these is that we recognise that this time is your time to do with as you choose.  It will not be interrupted, cancelled, driven by me, scripted, or disrespected. It is golden time, a rare oasis away from hustle and bustle. I will guide our conversation and challenge your thinking when necessary. I will hold you to account for your planned actions but most important of all, I will be facilitating your reflection and helping you to embed esoteric learning into practical actions and tools.

Go on – find your SPACE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am your coach..

By | Coaching and Mentoring, Personal Development

Remember this: as your coach I am there to help you. If it’s a technical question, I will answer it, so you don’t have to post on social media or spend time searching.  If I don’t know the answer – I’ll find a way of getting it.  (I won’t guess! I’m a scientist by trade, so I like a good evidence-base).  If it’s something more human or intangible, that’s fine, I’m there to support you.

It might sound odd, but you could think of me as a kind of ‘Professional Friend’. I might not be the person who knows your inner secrets and gives you a hug when things go wrong, but I am the person who is keen to see you on your feet again.  I’ll be helping you to see clearly (again), helping you to recognise and define your goals and seeing you head off onto a path where you can feel confident, get your mojo back and achieve the things that you so want to do.

I am your coach, but this doesn’t end when our meetings finish.  I am there – on the phone, at my keyboard and I’m always happy to help you via any (reasonable!) medium. Instant messages, texts, phone calls, skype, e mail. Oh, and let’s not forget – I love a good cup of coffee, so meeting up is always a winner.

But, you know what?  You don’t even need to have a problem. You don’t need to feel down to get in touch – you might have something exciting to tell me: I won a new contract, the new job’s going really well, I won a rosette at the horse show last weekend.  Being a coach means that I can take vicarious pleasure: seeing the success of others is great.

You Are Amazing!!

By | Coaching and Mentoring, Personal Development

You are amazing.                       You are unique.                         You are you.

So, I sometimes start off workshops or coaching groups by asking people to consider why they are amazing.  I don’t ask them if they are amazing, because I know that they are.

It’s a difficult question for most people because we grow up looking at role models and seeing what people around us do – and frequently it leaves us feeling that there is still more to do for us to emulate them.

That might be true, but what we forget is that we have our own personal bits of amazing-ness that they don’t have.  We rarely see the people who look to us a role models because nobody ever says ‘Hi there, you are my role model’.  It would probably feel rather creepy (for us) and maybe embarrassing for them. So, here is a story for you; if you’ve met me, you will almost certainly have heard me mention my Mother.  She is amazing.  Not just now (as I am old enough to appreciate it), but when we were younger too.  She is strong and determined but unconditionally loving. She is compassionate and gives her time freely to many causes. She is busy. She takes care of herself.  When family focus was on me and my brother, she made her own clothes with designer labels so that she could have the best clothes even if they weren’t from a shop. She worked hard in a hospital and worked hard for the family. She found time, even then to do things for other groups as a volunteer. If I can add to peoples lives like she has and if I can grow older gracefully, elegantly and by keeping busy like her, I shall be proud. She is my role model. Yet it was only last week that I told her.

So, what makes you amazing? It might not be something really obvious, maybe it was something you did for someone years ago that made a difference for them though it was just part of your nature.  Maybe you are brilliant with spreadsheets; able to run fast; fab at fixing stuff; good at getting things done.  Did you visit an unusual place that left you in awe and wanting to tell other people? Did you complete a plan in difficult circumstances? Have you overcome a tough time and come out the other side smiling again? Did you do something that you thought you could never do?  Have you kept an unusual pet?  Did you make someone laugh this week? The list goes on, but you get the idea? What makes you amazing might be something quite small, but which makes you unique.

What’s the point of this? Well, a common request in my coaching conversations is to help improve self-belief. As in so many instances, it is really about searching to find those things that you know about yourself but which have got forgotten, lost or hidden under other things. Once we start to delve, you’ll find those bits of amazing-ness for yourself and the only challenge then is to say them aloud and recognise them for what they really are.

Go on, try it.  Think of something amazing about yourself and just tell the cat/dog/goldfish/houseplant. Simply saying it out loud is a great first step and might just give you that initial, positive step towards realising who you really are.