You are amazing.                       You are unique.                         You are you.

So, I sometimes start off workshops or coaching groups by asking people to consider why they are amazing.  I don’t ask them if they are amazing, because I know that they are.

It’s a difficult question for most people because we grow up looking at role models and seeing what people around us do – and frequently it leaves us feeling that there is still more to do for us to emulate them.

That might be true, but what we forget is that we have our own personal bits of amazing-ness that they don’t have.  We rarely see the people who look to us a role models because nobody ever says ‘Hi there, you are my role model’.  It would probably feel rather creepy (for us) and maybe embarrassing for them. So, here is a story for you; if you’ve met me, you will almost certainly have heard me mention my Mother.  She is amazing.  Not just now (as I am old enough to appreciate it), but when we were younger too.  She is strong and determined but unconditionally loving. She is compassionate and gives her time freely to many causes. She is busy. She takes care of herself.  When family focus was on me and my brother, she made her own clothes with designer labels so that she could have the best clothes even if they weren’t from a shop. She worked hard in a hospital and worked hard for the family. She found time, even then to do things for other groups as a volunteer. If I can add to peoples lives like she has and if I can grow older gracefully, elegantly and by keeping busy like her, I shall be proud. She is my role model. Yet it was only last week that I told her.

So, what makes you amazing? It might not be something really obvious, maybe it was something you did for someone years ago that made a difference for them though it was just part of your nature.  Maybe you are brilliant with spreadsheets; able to run fast; fab at fixing stuff; good at getting things done.  Did you visit an unusual place that left you in awe and wanting to tell other people? Did you complete a plan in difficult circumstances? Have you overcome a tough time and come out the other side smiling again? Did you do something that you thought you could never do?  Have you kept an unusual pet?  Did you make someone laugh this week? The list goes on, but you get the idea? What makes you amazing might be something quite small, but which makes you unique.

What’s the point of this? Well, a common request in my coaching conversations is to help improve self-belief. As in so many instances, it is really about searching to find those things that you know about yourself but which have got forgotten, lost or hidden under other things. Once we start to delve, you’ll find those bits of amazing-ness for yourself and the only challenge then is to say them aloud and recognise them for what they really are.

Go on, try it.  Think of something amazing about yourself and just tell the cat/dog/goldfish/houseplant. Simply saying it out loud is a great first step and might just give you that initial, positive step towards realising who you really are.

Alison Payne

Author Alison Payne

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